


2020 Secret Saxton “Swissmas Party”

by Get_some_coffee



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Secret Saxton, Swissmas, Swissmas party, domestic work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:01:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28471344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Get_some_coffee/pseuds/Get_some_coffee
Summary: For Swissmas Eve, everyone at base is getting ready for the party! Demo bakes, Scout buys presents, and Spy’s head is back together.This is a Secret Saxton for someone within Dontneedadispensor’s Discord whose prompts were fun to write!
Kudos: 11





	2020 Secret Saxton “Swissmas Party”

Chilly wind gusted through the opened windows as the smoke from an oven billowed out. Snow fell outside, piling up a generous amount for New Mexico, and icicles formed on base, decorated with Swissmas lights. Pyro was sitting in front of the oven enjoying themself as charred baked goods burned. They swayed in their spot while mumbling a happy tune. The smoke went everywhere, setting off the smoke alarm and the Alert Board.

“Alert! Smoke and possible fire is in the kitchen!” The Administrator rang out.

“My gingerbread! They’re burnin’!” Demoman cried out as he ran into the kitchen and opened the oven and a large cloud of smoke covered him. Engineer pulled Pyro away from the oven door then blindly grabbed the tray with his gloved hand and pulled it out, showing off burnt gingerbread men.

Fire extinguisher foam sprayed everywhere with the sound of slow, almost stomp-like, footsteps. Heavy had a fire extinguisher in his hands plugged in to the kitchen wall. His face was lined with a mix of concern and eerie calmness.

In Pyro’s eyes, all they saw were rainbows flying out of the oven, out the window, and collecting on the ceiling. A baby Engineer giggled and guided them just a few feet away from the rainbows while baby Demoman was smiling, making little, happy baby sounds as the rainbows washed over him. Pyro clapped their hands together happily as a happy baby Heavy sprayed marshmallow fluff over everyone, turning the colorful kitchen into a mini winter wonderland.

Setting the burnt gingerbread on the table, Engineer sighed and patted Demoman on the back. Demoman had his head down with a small frown and went to the dish cupboard to pull out a huge bowl as Heavy got a cloth to wave the smoke outside. Bags of wheat flour, one cup of beer, and teaspoons of ginger and cinnamon were set on the table.

Pyro grabbed a plain frying pan and set it next to the ingredients. Their hand was hovering over one of the eggs and they glanced back and forth from the egg to Demoman.

“Don’t crack the eggs yet, we gotta get the dry ingredients into the bowl then add the wet ingredients in. You can help make the frosting.” Demoman said, pulling out butter, sugar, and molasses. Then he started to make the batter with Pyro’s help, pouring flour, a bit of beer, and ginger into the mix. Demoman was singing a merry song in Gaelic, which Engineer, Heavy, and Pyro all tried to hum along to.

As they were baking and clearing smoke out, Heavy heard the hollers of Soldier from outside not too far away. Heavy tried looking out the window to get a better view on where he was, but all he could see was Soldier yelling at someone and many lumps of snow.

  
“Okay ladies! The next battle is in another hour! I want you to run in this snow and bat the heads of our enemy!” Soldier yelled at a horde of many, smaller sized snowmen and Scout.

“No! Listen, the only,  _ only _ reason I’m out here is because I had ta get some stuff from Mann Co.! AND it is the day before SWISSMAS! We shouldn’t even be fighting today! We got a whole party set up and everything!”

L.T. Bites was digging through a plastic bag full of items that was on the snow. Scout quickly put the raccoon out of the bag and pushed him away with his foot.

“George Washington and his army crossed the Delaware on Swissmas day to surprise the British with Swissmas greetings! Of death! Lady of the Speakers said that this was a  _ vital _ battle!”

With a loud bang, a snowman’s head exploded out of nowhere. Scout jumped into a scared fighting pose as Soldier looked at the source of the noise. The sun reflecting off of the snow and clouds prevented clear vision but they saw a figure on the top of base. With a winter jacket on and a rifle at hand, Sniper climbed down the gutter and walked over. His nose was slightly reddened from the cold and he had a proud look on his face.

“Heh, nice headshot there.” Scout said, brushing a bit of the snowman’s head off his shoulder. 

“Thanks, just been practicin’ my aim.” Sniper said proudly.

L.T. Bites went back to Scout’s bag and dug into it, making loud chittering noises as he found the contents to the bag.

“L.T. Bites! Report Scout’s bag to me!”

Angry growling ensued as L.T. Bites perked his head up at Soldier as he got his head out of Scout’s bag. Soldier picked him up and held him like a baby while rummaging through the bag with interest.

Kicking up snow into Sniper’s face, Scout ran to Soldier and snatched the bag away.

Wiping snow off his face, Sniper rolled his eyes and fixed his coat. Even though Australia was not always hot, it was still strange to be in much colder weather than expected. Not unbearable, but very uncomfortable.

“What’s in the bag there?” Sniper asked, peering over to get a sneak peak.

“Look! It’s nothin’! Just some things I wanted to get, so buzz off!” Kicking up more snow into Soldier’s face by accident, he ran into base while hugging the bag close to him. Sniper and Soldier tried to shrug Scout’s behavior off as they continued to practice their aim with guns and rocket launchers at the Snowmen army.

Passing by the medbay, Scout could hear muffled talking through the doors. After the Archimedes incident, he preferred to not stay too long near the doves. When a yelp of pain came from there, he continued to run to his dorm, put the bag away, and wrapped each object in the bag as well as he could and labeled each one. Some were for his family to give to once he saw them again and the others were for his teammates.

“Ah! I thank you for the help, Docteur.” Spy rubbed a part of his neck while on an examination bed. His mask was folded so that his neck showed but not his face. A long, even, red line was revealed with dark blue stitches were neatly sewn.

Medic whistled a tune as he made each stitch and Spy played around with an unlit cigarette in his fingers, focusing on taking a smoke as soon as he was able to. The medigun was on and pointed at him, causing little pain and keeping Spy together.

“This is no problem! Now, tell me again on how the other Medic tested you with that machine again? I asked Engineer if he was going to help me figure out how it works exactly. I already have an idea on how to reduplicate the design!”

“Please do not put me through that again.”

“Nonsense! You were a prototype for the other team! I must test it out on a healthier specimen… Do you think Heavy or Demoman are good specimens?”

“If I were to choose-” Spy began to answer, but a loud screech of feedback went through the speakers and the Administrator cleared her throat.

“Attention! Battles are canceled due to research stating that mercenaries who do not battle on holidays fare better than mercenaries who do. There will be no more battles until further notice.”

With a click, the Administrator turned her microphone off. Medic’s face perked up with a smile that revealed an evil, toothy grin. At a slightly faster pace, he tied the last of the stitches up and used the medigun on Spy, completely sealing everything up. Fixing the mask, Spy lit his cigarette and took a puff.

“Now, why could you not use the medigun on me sooner?”

“I needed to practice my sewing skills, that’s all! But now, since we have a break for Swissmas, I can work with Engineer for my experiments! This will be fascinating!”

“Fair enough. Will you join later for setting the tree up? I hear that Soldier has his grenade ornaments ready. It will be best to watch from afar.”

With a nod, Medic put his sewing needle and thread away. Grabbing his medigun, a first aid kit, and a bone saw, there was a curious glint in his eyes that sent a slight shiver down Spy’s back.

Turning around to leave, Spy waved and exited the medbay, finally in one piece, and smelled the lingering smoke from the burnt gingerbread men. Assuming that Pyro was cooking, he went over to the kitchen.

The snow on the top of the window fell off as Heavy slammed it shut. Most of the smoke left the area and the smell was not as strong as it was before. Everyone was able to wipe the fire extinguisher foam off everything. The batter was now finished and almost ready to put in the oven. Engineer handed Pyro and Demoman the gingerbread man shaped cookie cutters. Pyro was excited in pressing their cookie cutter into the batter and Demoman did it slowly, making sure that the shape and form were perfect.

Opening the ready to bake oven, Engineer put the trays in while Heavy set the timer for forty minutes.

“We did good work!” Heavy beamed.

With flour covering his hands, Demoman high fived Heavy, unleashing a mini cloud. With the remainder of the beer that was not used in the batter, Engineer took a sip as Demoman gave a spoon to Heavy and Engineer then a straw to Pyro to eat the batter. Pyro took a part of the bow that had a clump of leftover batter and they slurped the clump up. Heavy only took a small scoop, ate it, then placed the spoon in the sink.

“When I was a wee lad, I always took a piece of raw batter when Mum wasn’t aware of where I was. She also always claimed I added a bit too much ginger or beer into the batter. I just followed the instructions!” Demoman chuckled.

Engineer put the spoon that Demoman gave him back in the silverware drawer and licked the batter off of the wooden spoon. The dough had a mix of familiar ginger spice, sweetness, and a bit of saltiness.

The kitchen door slowly opened up, unleashing a smoky baked goods smell at Spy. He saw Demoman washing the flour off his hands, Heavy and Engineer chatting, and Pyro watching the oven.

“Sorry for popping in unannounced, but I smelled something burning.”

“That was the gingerbread. Pyro was in charge of keeping watch on it and I forgot they like fire a bit too much.” Demoman explained, acknowledging Spy’s entrance.

“But we have made new batch! It is in oven now!” Heavy added.

“Very nice. I am not one to join a baking class, but... have you made the icing for the gingerbread men yet?”

Engineer fixed his safety hat and cleared his throat. “No, not yet.”

“No icing?! Let me teach you how to make proper icing!” Already, Spy started pulling out butter, cream cheese, and powdered sugar.

“Really? Thanks!”

The timer rang as the forty minutes passed. Heavy put some oven mitts on and pulled the tray of eighteen gingerbread men out. They were steaming and the scent of the hearty gingerbread became much stronger as the pan was set down on the oven. Spy pulled out the ingredients for making icing as he turned on the radio, playing official TF Industry Swissmas songs.

Pyro clapped their hands and even with their mask on, it was clear that they were smiling. With Pyrovision, they saw happy gingerbread men already decorated and waving at them, still laying on the pan. All of the baby mercenaries were cooing and babbling happily, flying around the room. They hugged baby Spy and patted baby Demoman on the head, mumbling merry carols. Spy felt like his ribs were going to break when Pyro hugged him and Demoman loved their enthusiasm.

The icing was already done and was on the counter. Soon, everyone will come together and frost two of their gingerbread men.

As night fell and the faint moon, slightly covered by the clouds, made the snow glisten, the mercenaries got together and were starting to set the tree up. A beaten, old tree was brought out of the storage room and set up in the recreational room. Most of the tree’s needles fell off and the tree was lucky that it was watered with medigun juice rather than water from the faucets.

Boxes were pulled out and ornaments, from blue carts to axes with flames painted on, were hung up. Soldier hung his grenade ornaments up, as Spy stood far away, near the doorway. Sniper hung up a kangaroo ornament, and Heavy placed the star on top as Pyro plugged the tree lights in. Decorating the rest of the tree, and after setting everyone’s wrapped presents under it, the gingerbread men and the frosting were set down on the table.

The frosting was put into nine small packets and distributed evenly around the table. They all had a cheerful time decorating gingerbread men with medals, baseballs, and rifles. Music was blasting through the radio and speakers.

Scout finished decorating first and was fidgeting in his spot, tapping his foot rhythmically to the beat of the music with a smile on his face. He went over to the tree and looked at the presents. Some were sloppily wrapped, others were made perfectly, and others were in large gift bags.

Eventually, the others sat around the Swissmas tree and found each others’ presents. Pyro got a new gun, painted blue and green from Heavy, Medic got a large jar full of baby Bread Monsters from Soldier, and Sniper gazed at his new Australium frying pan.

Spy saw a present that was for him in a small box, wrapped up in some shiny paper. Looking at the label, it came from Scout. Opening it up hesitantly, he saw that it was a box that contained a bar of soap. He sniffed the box to tell what type of scent it was, and it smelled strongly of deep fried chicken. With a frown, he snuck the gift into his pocket.

The others also had Scout’s prank gifts. Engineer got a pair of stilts and Sniper got a couple jars full of lemonade, and so forth. They all gave him noogies and little punches, Soldier almost went too hard by pinning him to the wall.

“I’ll be right back, just gotta handle some business.” Sniper said, getting out of his chair and taking a cup of eggnog with him. Entering one of the office rooms, he saw a wired phone hanging on the wall. Dialing a phone number, he waited for someone to revive the other end.

“Hello?” A woman’s voice rang.

“Mom! Merry Swissmas! Tell Dad I said Merry Swissmas to him!”

“Aw! Merry Swissmas, honey!”

The conversation went back and forth about the holiday season, how everyone was doing, and if he was going to change his career choice. When the clock chimed nine times, he realized that he had to hang up soon.

“Mom, I gotta go, have to get back to a party. Have a good Swissmas.”

“You too!”

Hanging up the phone, he went back to the others, saw L.T. Bites on the chair that he sat on earlier, then decided to lean against the wall. He took a cigarette out of his pocket, lit it, then had a smoke.

The party continued for some time full of laughs, cheer, and piles of shredded wrapping paper left on the floor. Christmas music was switched over to music on the jazz side. Medic left the part for a bit, grabbed his accordion in the lab, and played along to the music. Sniper eventually got to his saxophone which was stored safely in its case and Demoman pulled the piano out and played. Everyone drank eggnog and danced to the music, with Engineer square dancing with Scout while the rest started a mix of congaing and other types of dancing. 

It was about 1:00 AM when everyone was done, wrapping paper on the floor now crumpled into a huge pile in the corner next to the tree, which was still on. Swissmas lights were still strung up, and stockings still warmed by the fire that Pyro made in the center of the room. All of their gifts were precariously set in special places in each home, even Spy set Scout’s gag gift on the dresser as if it was something with materialistic value.

“Time to get home and get ready for tomorrow! Heavy? Did your family get your letter yet?” Scout asked cheerfully.

“Soon, I know they will get my presents and letter. I wish I was with them this year.”

Sniper strolled by with a box closed shut and looked up at Heavy. “I understand, same thing happened with me. Thought there were battles today and tomorrow. At least there’s next year.” He patted Heavy on the back and went over to his van.

Medic walked by with his doves perched on his shoulders and head, all wearing Santa or Elf suits and hats. In his arms he carried one of the smaller Bread Monsters that seemed to be from a slice of whole grain bread. It was trying to bite Medic multiple times, but he kept catching it with each jump. The Bread Monster stopped attacking once Archimedes tried eating it while it was in midair.

Scout and Heavy looked concerned about what just happened while Mecic was talking to Bread Monster as if it was a child and to Archimedes like he was a human.

With idle chatter, everyone eventually either at base or at their own homes, they all snuggled into bed then slept soundly. As sugar grenades and yetis fought in the mercenaries’ heads that night, their families also celebrated Swissmas. Presents and loud chatting ensued with each family as they wrote letters and sent cards back to the mercenaries. It was a merry Swissmas this year.


End file.
